I figured since the 10 Commandments haven’t been updated in a few thousand years that it might be time for some updates with of course keeping the basic gist of what the almighty God had intended. Please note: Of course these changes will have to be approved by God (and Jesus) before any carving of the stone may be done.
I. I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD. YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD AND HIM ONLY SHALL YOU SERVE.
Added Text: YOU ALSO SHALL NOT WORSHIP MONEY NOR THE THINGS YOU CAN BUY WITH MONEY BECAUSE PUTTING MONEY ABOVE THE LORD AND YOUR FAITH MEANS YOU’RE A CAPITALIST, NOT A CHRISTIAN.
II. YOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD YOUR GOD IN VAIN
Added Text: YOU SHALL ALSO NOT USE THE NAME OF THE LORD YOUR GOD TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE INTO GIVING YOU MONEY AS I SEE SO MANY “PREACHERS” AND TELEVANGELISTS DO ON A DAILY BASIS.
III. REMEMBER TO KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH DAY
Added Text: SPEND SOME TIME OUTDOORS AND ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD THAT WAS CREATED FOR YOU.
IV. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER
Added Text: ALSO HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR STEP-MOTHER AND STEP-FATHER AND WHY NOT THROW IN YOUR SURROGATE MOTHER TOO.
V. YOU SHALL NOT KILL.
Added Text: THIS MAY NOT HAVE BEEN CLEAR BUT THOU SHALL NOT KILL MEANS THOU SHOULD’NT KILL ANYONE INCLUDING PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES, PEOPLE OF OTHER RELIGIONS, PEOPLE OF OTHER RACES, UNARMED PEOPLE, PRISONERS, POOR PEOPLE, SICK PEOPLE…YOU GET THE GIST!
VI. YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY
Added Text: AND IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE ASHLEY MADISON ACCOUNT YOU REALLY ARE ETERNALLY SCREWED (SORRY JOSH DUGGAR)!
VII. YOU SHALL NOT STEAL
Added Text: YOU SHALL NOT USE YOUR WEALTH AND INFLUENCE TO MANIPULATE LAWS, MARKETS AND TAX REGULATIONS TO MAKE YOU WEALTHIER…YOU ARE ROBBING FROM WORKING FAMILIES, CHILDREN, THE ELDERLY, VETERANS AND THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL VERY VERY BAD.
VIII. YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS
Added Text: YOU SHALL NOT MAKE UP STORIES ABOUT PEOPLE ON FOOD STAMPS OR WELFARE OR ANY GOVERNMENT SERVICE SINCE WE ALL KNOW THEY AREN’T TRUE AND SOMEDAY YOU MAY NEED THOSE SERVICES TOO.
IX. YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBOR’S WIFE
Added Text: THIS IS FOR YOU, JOSH DUGGAR!
X. YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBOR’S GOODS
Added Text: INSTEAD, BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE AND ONLY BUY THINGS THAT YOU NEED OR MAKE YOU TRULY HAPPY – BECAUSE YOU CAN NEVER OUT-JONES THE JONES!